You love me more

 

Hi Everyone!
A lot has happened since my last post 🙂 I have transitioned from Ms. to Mrs!
So very grateful and very happy in this new season.

What’s even more exciting is that Raul (My hubby) has graciously allowed AND encouraged me to stay home and work on my writings and music!

We both have dreams of making good music. Raul wants to be a music producer, and we are both songwriters. Even though we are super SUPER far from the professionals (haha) but with the little that we have, we want to make the most out of it.
Kinda like the five breads and two fishes that the little boy gave to Jesus and it was multiplied so much that it fed more than 5000 people and more!

Our plan is that during these last 3 months of 2015, I’ll record 10 of my songs, as well as spend time writing my testimonies. He always jokes about how we’ll make so much money by me writing books, haha. That’ll be great! lol But honestly, we just want to bless others by sharing our experience with God and share some wisdom that we have learned along the way 🙂

So here’s one of my songs called “You love me more”.
It’s a really simple song with very short lyrics. I wrote this song back in New York, 2014. I remember singing it and tears started streaming down my face because it was a sincere petition to the Holy Spirit to ask for his presence and to convey my love to him. But what God taught me was that he actually loved me first and his love is so much more than I can imagine. What a great God!

I hope this song blesses your heart! And I will certainly be writing a lot more now!

 

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Photo credit http://i.imgur.com/QElQlge.jpg

From time to time, I get people asking me, “So if you say your God is so amazingly good, loving and just, how come bad things happen to good people?”

“Uh…like what?” I know this is a dumb question for me to ask, but I need more time to think because my mind is completely blank. Oh Holy Spirit, Help me!!

“Come on, Lynn, you know… like that sweet girl in our neighborhood, why did she die of a car accident? Why did Pastor Ron die of lung cancer at an early age of 45, leaving his wife all alone? Why is there earthquake, famine and war that take the lives of the innocent and good?”

I still don’t hear God’s answer.

My cheeks turn red at the awkward silence. Seems like God has no problem with silence, so I had to say something to justify Him or more like…save myself from this awkwardness…

Two songs to share with you! Be “Joyful” and “Do not worry” ;)

Hi Everyone!

Some of you know that one of the reasons why I started this Blog is to have a platform to share music that I make with my ukulele 😀 So I’m super happy to finally get the chance to share two songs of my own with you all!

Last Monday, I had the opportunity to encourage some Chinese/Taiwanese immigrants’ children living in New York. They are helped by a Christian non-profit organization called “Garden of Hope”, and the children are either from a broken family or are suffering from domestic violence, sexual assault and etc. Knowing that they had gone through a lot of pain and fear, I decided to sing two songs that I hope will comfort them and give them strength in times of hardship.

This first song is called ‘Do not worry’. I encouraged these children that whatever happens, do not worry. Just look at the birds and flowers and know that even them, God looks after. Therefore, God will surely look after you. The lyrics are really simple from the Bible (Luke 12: 22-31)

I know it’s really easy to say not to worry, but very hard to actually stop worrying. Even the day before the event, I was worrying if I could make it to the event because I was having a stomach ache. At that morning, I woke up still having an upset stomach and I was even more stressed out and worried than before. But then I started singing “Do not worry” and I determined I was going to go for God no matter how my body feels. Now I’m so glad that I made the decision to go so that I get to experience my song again and bless others as well! Yey!

Here’s the youtube video of it:

Our Engagement Story- Part I

I am now officially engaged to Raul Erazo! 😀

Even though right now, Raul is still 1665 miles away, and I miss him so terribly…I am very happy and grateful that we are now ‘finally officially’ engaged 😀 ❤ ! Why do I say ‘finally officially’ engaged? Because he actually already proposed to me nine months ago with a beautiful ring. However, something very unexpected happened, which made our engagement unofficial for a very long time .

It was in El Salvador, the first time I visited his home country. We went to a holiday resort at the beach for three days with his parents. I was suspicious that he was going to propose because he asked for my ring size some months ago, so I made sure I was in a pretty dress and had make up on when he took me to a nice restaurant the last night we were at the beach.

The Distance

Here’s a post from Doodles Invigorate, one of my favorite blogs!
“I realized I focus too much on the word distance when the emphasis should be on GO.” Amen!

Yes, we’ll be strong, find our way, and go the distance!
It’s okay if our journeys are taking longer than we expected, we will still do our best and ENJOY, because “every mile will be worth the while” 🙂
Here’s the Hercules’ song!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhGyDJMFqoQ

with much love,
Lynn

Doodles Invigorate

This one is inspired by Disney’s Hercules. I was watching this movie to get some inspiration for a illustration and the song Go the Distance came on. As I listened I reflected on the daily battles I face in many area’s of my life. I constantly fight with all my might to make progress and often feel like I’m getting nowhere. I realized I focus too much on the word distance when the emphasis should be on GO. Achieving success can be a long up hill struggle but as long as you make your way up you’re getting somewhere. Go the distance!

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I love you so much I would die for you

Story One

“Tell me about Jason! Why did you stop seeing him? I thought you said you liked him.”

“Well, yeah…. but I just don’t feel head over heels for him… Maybe something is wrong with me… I haven’t exactly experienced a love that I would die for.”

“A love that you would die for?? That sounds scary… I hope Raul and I never encounter a situation in which we have to die for the other person. Drama’s good for a movie, not in real life.”

Story two

Before my mom met my dad, she was dating a good-looking man whom my mom was very fond of. They had been together for two years and my mom was thinking why he hadn’t proposed yet. One night, my mom brought up the conversation and asked him what kind of person he would want to spend the rest of his life with. He thought for a moment, and said, “I want to be with a person who loves me so much she would die for me and I would die for her too.”

That was the last time they ever saw each other again.

Story Three

The room was completely silent except for the quiet sobbing coming from my 83 year-old grandma. All her children were gathered around her but none said anything. In the other room, my grandpa had just turned off the lights and even though he was still somewhat upset at the cold rice he had for dinner, he fell fast asleep within the next ten minutes.

“I used to love him so much if he told me to jump off the cliff with him, I would do it!” she covered her month as more tears slowly slid down her wrinkled cheeks.

Story Four

“Stop! I don’t believe it! Stop telling me that God gave His only son to die in our place. It doesn’t make sense!!”

“But it’s true! God loves us so much that He sacrificed Jesus so we can be free of sin!”

“You can believe it if you want, but I don’t think God DIED for me. I mean, who am I?”

“That’s the amazing part of it! None of us are worthy, but He still died for us! It’s because of His LOVE, not because of our worth!”

“That’s crazy… I don’t believe in that kind of love. God Loves ME? hahaaha I’m so sorry, but it still sounds ridiculous.”

“Yeah, sometimes I think it’s ridiculous too that God loves me this much. But I think it’s even more ridiculous if we don’t accept what He has already done for us.”

 

P.S I hope you enjoy the weekly word challenge this week on “love” by  Suzie81 as much as I do!  😉

 

Having fun with Liebster Award!

I woke up this morning and found a very pleasant surprise! I got nominated for the Liebster Award, thanks to the author of Pensive Digression!! 😀 I’ve seen this award before on other blogs and I think it’s a really thoughtful chain post for bloggers to further connect with each other! Even though there isn’t really an award or judges, but the name of the Award, ‘Liebster’ meaning ‘dearest’ in German makes me smile 🙂

Here are the rules for the Award:

The Liebster Award is awarded to bloggers with under 200 followers to try to promote their blog a little and also bring together a community of bloggers. The rules of the competition are as follows:

• The nominated user must provide a link bank to the person who nominated them.
• Provide 11 facts about yourself.
• Answer 11 questions set by the person who nominated you.
• Choose 11 more people and ask them 11 questions

Facts about myself:

1. I’m a stay-home kind of person. Even though I enjoy going out with my friends and my family, I wouldn’t mind staying home for two, three days.  (that is, if there’s food at home, haha)

2. I am super slow when I do stuff.  It takes me forever to choose an outfit, make an order or even a simple yes or no question (sometimes, not always :P) I tend to just let others decide if it’s not something major.  I have had dreams of everyone waiting for me to pack my suitcase, or I’m trying to pick a dress while the store is about to close. Those dreams are especially stressful and I think they reflect the pressure I feel when I know others are waiting for me. Gotta work on being more efficient 😉

3. When I was in elementary school, I used to think i’m one of the prettiest girls in class 😛 But after I went to middle school and later in high school, I had such a low self-esteem that I thought no guy would ever really like me because I was so ugly and unattractive. I was even convinced that I would probably marry someone whom I don’t love or is super bad looking. However, God is so good that He brought the love of my life, ( ❤ !!) Raul, into my life and he really rebuilt my confidence by telling me almost everyday that I’m beautiful and calls me ‘Beautiful’ :’) I remember when we first started dating, we even fought because I was so uncomfortable with him telling me I’m pretty. My brain just couldn’t take it that I could actually be beautiful in a man’s eyes. Cray isn’t it? (this is such a long fact, lol)

4. My life completely changed when I met Jesus. I used to be a very depressing, insecure, and angry person who lives in fear everyday. I had no idea I was living in such a dark and hopeless life. I had suicidal thoughts and it felt like everyone else on this earth is living a better life than mine even if they were poor, cheated or miserable. But when I made Jesus my Lord and Savior, He started to transform me and heal all wounds. I’m not going to lie and say that it was magical and it happened immediately. It took time and many times I wouldn’t let go of my sinful past, but He always gently pulls me back to His presence and shines His light into my life. I can truly and honestly say, I cannot live a day without Jesus 🙂

5.  If I had to use one adjective to describe myself, it would be ‘gentle’. I checked with my mom and Raul, and they both think this adjective suits me well. But more than ‘gentle’, I want to be ‘loving’, ‘caring’ and ‘humble’. I want to bear all the fruits of the Holy Spirit in my life, which are  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians: 22-23)  I know God still has a lot to work on me, but I am becoming better and better each day!

6. My bible verses of the year 2014 is : Romans 8: 28

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” This Bible verse reminds me that whatever comes my way, whether it seems bad, unfair or devastating, God makes them all work for MY GOOD because we love Him and He loved us first. 

7. I’m about to be officially engaged in 21 days and married in 286 days, Yey!! We’re having the wedding in El Salvador, and then later in Taiwan 🙂 I feel so blessed to be married to the most loving man and having two wedding celebrations 😀

8. I’m now pursuing a TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) masters degree in NYC.  I never really wanted to be a teacher when I was young, but after I start tutoring and seriously considering what I should do for a living, I realized teaching is perfect for me! I love language, I love helping people, I like other people listening to me on stage :D, I like waking up early and I think correcting homework and giving tests are fun!

9. It’s been five years since I lived with my parents, and because I’m going back to school here in New York, I moved back with them four months ago.  It was very tough at the beginning to be a kid all over again and deprived of freedom.  Parents have a lot of expectations on me and so did I on them. Thankfully, my parents were willing to hear me out and after a few adjustments and family talks, we’re doing pretty well now 🙂

10. I have to wash my hair every single day! It’s a bit annoying because if I don’t, the next day it’ll look kind of greasy and I strongly dislike it. Even though Raul tells me I still look good with greasy hair, and he tries to talk me out of washing my hair every day, I still insist on washing my hair everyday, especially if I’m going out.

11.  I used to hate my younger sister soooo much! Yes, I was one of those jealous and mean older sibling, haha But it was interesting how my sister always adored and loved me even during the days when I was the most horrible sister ever. I would secretly use her toothbrush to clean the toilet, gather my own dandruff and dump them on her (yewww…. I can’t believe I did that) Thank God again, we reconciled, or more like, I started loving her back after I met Jesus. Now, I love her so much! She’s my little sunshine and we are super close.

I feel like I could write a post for each fact about myself! Tell me which fact you’re most interested and my next next post will be on that 😉

To answer the 11 Questions:

1. What’s it like where you grew up/ now live?  2. What was School like for you?

I decided to combine these two questions 🙂 Hmm… this is a complicated question for me. Sigh, I always have to spend a lot of time explaining to people where I grew up. I was born in Maryland, USA and lived them until I was 5 years old, my parents moved back to Taiwan (a beautiful island in the Pacific Ocean, South to Japan)  for two years, and then we came back to the States again when I was 7. By the time I finished second grade, we moved back to Taiwan again.  It doesn’t matter if you’re kind of lost by now, even my love has trouble understanding the process… I’ll just keep going…

so, when I was 11, my family moved to Brussels. It was the hardest days of my life. I didn’t speak a word in French and I had a very hard time in school and making friends. It was during this time when my character completely changed. I used to be very outgoing and expressive, but after those years,  I became very timid, low in confidence and insure. My parents saw how bad i was doing in school, so they transferred me to an international School. I didn’t fit with the typical Asian or American, instead I was with a group of ‘nerds’ from France, Belgium, Turkey and India. I didn’t like to go to school and was constantly sick.

To wrap things up, I decided to go back to Taiwan for High school and it was another huge challenge for me to learn how to write in Chinese and trying to fit in when I was clearly different.  I would say school was definitely tougher for me than the average kids. Next time when you’re envying others who have lived their lives in many countries, just know that there are many hardships that accompanies the glamorous appearance.

3.What is your favourite media? Favourite book/film/video game etc?

I don’t really have any favorites… So say the truth, I don’t watch a lot of movies or films and I don’t play video games. I read less fictions or novels. I tend to read tool books and non-fiction, such as ” How to maximize your time”, “The Biography of Winston Churchill”, and “Anne Frank”. I find true stories more fascinating than stories that are made up by an author sitting in front of a computer. That’s why I like reading other’s blogs too, they give me insights and inspirations from others’ real life stories. And the most important of all, the Bible! and Yes everyone, every word in the Bible is true. 🙂

4. Why did you start blogging?

I started blogging because I’ve felt the Holy Spirit kept encouraging me to write. I want to share my stories to everyone who is struggling with what I once struggled with: fear, anxiety, insecurity, depression, suicidal thoughts and a hopeless life. I want to let everyone who reads my blog know that there is a way, a hope, a truth, and that is Jesus.

5. What are you afraid of?

Some time ago, Raul asked me the same question, “What are you afraid of?” It took me several minutes to think about that question. I used to be afraid of a lot of things. In fact, “that’s so scary” used to be a phrase always on my lips. I was afraid of speaking to strangers, afraid of going to places I don’t know, afraid that no one loves me, afraid of even my own veins.  Now I fear no more of the things I listed above and it was definitely a pleasant surprise when I realized that! The only thing that I’m really disgusted by right now is cockroaches… I wonder why God created them… ><

6. Who is your hero/inspiration?

On earth, I would definitely say that my love, Raul, is my hero! He always knows how to make me smile, happy and very secure. A lot of people inspire me, especially humble servants of God who love and serve God for their entire life.

7. What is your favourite quote?

There are many Bible verses that God has given to me at different stages of my life to carry me through the tough times. The one that encouraged me a lot during my long distance relationship with Raul is Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

8. What dreams do you have for the future?

I have a lot of dreams! I want to write a book, make my own CDs, spread the gospel, make disciples, heal the sick, set the captives free, cast out demons… basically everything Jesus did and tells us to do 😀

9. Have you got any special talents? If you don’t think so then what would you like to be good at?

Everyone has a special talent! It isn’t something you’re better doing at when you compare yourself to others. Talent is something you’re good at doing and you enjoy doing more than other things you do 😀

I have a talent of making music! I’m not a professional and I haven’t even really recorded a song before, but I enjoy making songs and singing to the Lord with my little Ukulele.  The times that I’ve sung to the Lord alone in my room are the times I’ve felt the closest to Heaven!

10. What is your biggest weakness?

Sometimes, I can be very lazy and I just don’t want to do ANYTHING, and then later I feel HORRIBLE. Lol There was a season during which I would open the Bible and all I read are verses like “Laziness brings on deep sleep, and the shiftless go hungry.”

Okay God, I get it… no more laziness…

11. Name something you like that everyone else hates and why you think this is.

Hmm… this is a good questions, I’m not sure. I guess one thing is I like to spend time with my grandparents and old people in general. I know some people think old people are slow and boring, but I actually enjoy being with them. (maybe because I’m slow too? Lol)

 

Yey!! Finally done with the questions! I accidentally deleted my first version and I almost cried and wanted to give up, because I thought it was sooo good! But I still stuck with it and wrote my second version… Anyway, here are my questions:

1. What is the nicest or sweetest thing you ever did for someone else?
2. Tell us the funniest thing that has ever happened to you or around you 😀
3. What do you think is the fun part and the worst part of blogging?
4. When was the last time you cried, why?
5. If you could turn back time, what would you change?
6. Have you ever heard of Jesus? Who is he to you?
7. If you could have any kind of super power, what would it be and why?
8. What kind of person do you picture yourself to be in ten years?
9. What does success look like for your blog?
10. What does love mean to you?
11. What are some lies in your life that you know is not true but you still believe it?

I hope everyone has as much fun as I did answering and asking questions!

Here are the 11 nominations:

Congratulations~

So you want to be a teacher, Stop walking dead,   Tell me who you are, whirlingdervishgirl, Serious Attempts Of a Desinvolte, Toadliquor,  Hopping Home Backwards, Sebrena Stolze is here, In The Midst of Just Another Life, blueneely, and Why I’ll Be Single Forever.

Enjoy life and keep loving !!  😉

Lynn

 

Jazz on Broadway – After Midnight

 

Last night I saw my first Broadway musical show in New York, After Midnight.

Not feeling the Best? I Have Something Just For You- K LOVE

Hi wonderful people!

How’s the weather out your window right now? Whether it’s sunny and bright or raining and dark, take some time to take a few deep breaths and think of three things you’re thankful for. Trust me, it’s good for you 🙂

Breathe in… Breathe out…. Breathe in…. Breathe out…. Good! (this sounds like something in a Pilates class or something lol)

Okay, here’s three things I am thankful for:

1) I’m grateful that I have a home to go back to, a bed that I can sleep in and a bathroom with clean water!

2) I’m really grateful that I can sing! I may not be the best singer with the most beautiful voice, but at least I THINK I sound great  😀

3) I’m super super thankful that I have this computer that sometimes doesn’t work, but it is still good enough for me to write a blog, yey!! You can let me know what you’re thankful for too! 😉

But If you’re feeling kind of down and there’s nothing going your way, trust me, this is what you need…

http://www.klove.com/

This is the website of a radio station that I am absolutely into right now! It’s called Positive, Encouraging K-love. So many times when I feel like there’s no more strength, no more the joy, no more patience, suddenly a song just starts playing and I’ll break down crying, releasing all the negative emotions that I stored inside of my chest. Other times, a happy song starts playing and I just can’t help but start dancing crazily and burst out laughing in joy! (seriously, so many times my mom would hear me from another room and ask, “What’s so funny?” lol)

I listen to it mostly when I wash dishes alone in the kitchen. I’ll try to sing along or listen to the lyrics, and for sooooo many times, it was as if God was speaking to me through the songs, picking me up from my feet, wrapping His arms around me, giving me HOPE AND STRENGTH TO CARRY ON.

You can listen to it online here right now!

http://www.klove.com/listen/player.aspx

Life is tough, but you’re not alone.  Life is hard, but it can’t beat you down. You are so much more positive and stronger than you think you are!!! 🙂 I don’t know what you’re going through, but I know God knows . 😉

From the bottom of my heart, I really pray to Jesus that He speaks to you through a song just right for you, AMEN! 😀

 

Huge hugs and with love,

Lynn

 

And please please, if you are blessed by a song from K-Love, share with me!! It would make me soooo happy!! Ah!!! I’m so excited!!! haha ❤  see you guys next time~!

Stress from Work… sounds familiar? WE ALL HAVE IT!!

Hi beautiful people!

How’s your week been? Mine’s been pretty tough…mainly because I have so much work to do and I’m emotionally tired of the cold weather here in New York.  I go to sleep thinking about all the deadlines, assignments, projects and dreams unfulfilled yet. In the morning, I find myself diving into piles of work, losing tack of time and losing my joy. I would sit for many hours and my body is definitely protesting through my sore eyes and aching back. As a result, I’m starting to feel very impatient and grumpy as well. I find myself looking at goals that seem so far away and small progress doesn’t excite me anymore. But today God reminded me, without Him, all those things that I care so much about are just personal desires and personal satisfactions that doesn’t last until eternity.  

I’m not saying God doesn’t care or doesn’t like the work I have, but He cares if I’m enjoying Him and if I still stay connected to Him in the midst of stress and anxiety from all the work. If you think this is a new thought for you, let it sink in for a little bit, I know I definitely need to meditate on it more 🙂

(I with I could abandon everything I have to do and just go to this place right now!!)

 

I feel that my life is sort of unbalanced now. I am not sure how to better allocate my time to God, family, work, school, rest, and exercise. I heard a pastor once said, “Set your priority right and the rest will fall into the right place.”

I want my priority be God (meaning I think He’s ranking second or third now…ahhh!!) because I know if it weren’t for Him, I would be one of the most miserable person. That’s why it is utmost important to come to Him the first thing at the beginning of a fresh new day- I’m talking to myself!!! I miss the days when I used to wake up so eagerly seeking for His presence!

“In the morning, prayer is the key that opens to us the treasures of God’s mercies and blessings; in the evening, it is the key that shuts us up under His protection and safeguard.” This is a quote from my bible verse card. Let us all go to God in prayer in the morning and at night, in joy and in anxiety, in happiness and in sorrow, and definitely in work or off work! haha 😀

 

Going back to work, folks~!

Hugs and huge smile on my face 😀  Thank God for blogs, I feel so much better now!

Lynn